STEPHEN FALA: I’m Stephen Fala, and you’re listening to Pipe and Drape, the only podcast that spotlights the creative minds behind the theatre for young audiences industry.
[The Dinky Pipe and Drape theme plays.]
I’m bringing you another “dinky” episode to share information that is relevant to the topics that are discussed with my guests. Thank you for listening today.
In this dinky episode of Pipe and Drape I’m going to talk about hotel hopping and give just a few tips on how to make the most of living out of a suitcase while on a fast-paced tour.
-Andrew Forsthoefel, Walking to Listen
[Voice of Alison Liney appears out of nowhere.] "As long as it doesn't have bedbugs or a muderer I'm good." ← And that was Episode 2's guest Alison Liney on hotel living. The best way to prevent murderers or robbers from entering your hotel room while you’re away is to shake the door handle when you leave. While hotel doors are usually designed to slam shut and activate the lock mechanism, sometimes they close gently and not fully. By giving the door handle a little shaky shaky you insure that the hotel door is closed and locked. If you’re turning in for the night, always always always bolt the door. Digital key card mechanisms can fail, but cold hard steel does not.
Another tip to prevent intruders: always check for bed bugs. When I was little my mom would tuck me in and sing, “Goodnight, goodnight, don’t let the bedbugs bite.” I thought bedbugs were a metaphor for the scary nighttime thoughts I had. It wasn’t until college that I learned the truth: bed bugs are actual bugs that can live in furniture and bite you and ruin your house. So, to check for bedbugs in a hotel room: pull up the sheets at the four corners of the bed (that’s where they hang out before feasting on human flesh.) If you see a bunch of dark spots on the mattress, notify the hotel front desk and your company manager immediately. Hotels and motels have all sorts of protections against bedbugs, but it never hurts to do one final check of your bed before slipping into the covers and sleeping off the hard work or travel day. I found a bed bug on my first TYA tour, and my cast was moved to another hotel room, and as soon as we returned to our company housing we loaded all of our costumes and clothes from tour into trash bags and our company manager took care of it herself. I’m grateful for her.
Speaking of laundry, I washed my clothes in many a hotel laundry room. It was sometimes a bit of a walk from my room, so instead of lugging my entire suitcase down to wash some of my clothes, I stuffed my dirty items in a hotel pillowcase and carried that to the washing machine. Don’t have any detergent? Use shampoo instead! Every hotel and motel will provide soap and shampoo products. Don’t need that shampoo for your laundry or hair? Donate it to those that need it! Some tour companies will even ask company members to bring their unused hotel room soaps to the venue to drop in a donation box.
While some hotels and motels do not have accessible facilities for guest laundry, almost all of them have very basic food items. So if you are on tour don't ever buy: coffee, tea, cookies, apples, oranges, or bananas. Hotels will have them and you can use that per diem money on pralines or a trip to a fancy hot spring somewhere.
Hotels that claim to provide breakfast will at the very least have cereal and oatmeal, as well as peanut butter, cream cheese, and maybe yogurt. If the breakfast is “continental” there should be some kind of egg and a waffle iron. I have found that hotel English muffins are fluffier than the ones I find in grocery stores. And the potatoes. Uhn.
I’d like to give a shoutout to Embassy Suites for hosting complimentary cocktail hours. You all made me and my most recent tour family very happy. Embassy Suites does not sponsor this podcast but I am open to the idea of it.
Here are some more hotel food tips from my coworker Arlee Chadwick: “If you’re going to use the coffee pot, run water through it because chances are there are cockroaches living in it. If it smells like tuna someone definitely made ramen in it.” Once you’ve cleaned out that dusty coffee machine (there are many dusty hotel coffee machines out there), use it to brew up some hot water for oatmeal! (Oatmeal that you secretly took from the previous hotel.) If you want to eat at a table but there isn’t one in your hotel room, you can make one by taking a drawer out of the dresser, flipping it over, and plopping it on your bed! Arlee also told me that tortillas and peanut butter make a great snack because they are delicious and they slip into a crowded suitcase pocket or empty shoe very easily! And peanut-butter tortilla sandwiches are a great no-mess snack that can be made and consumed on the tour bus or in the van. Thanks for these tips, Arlee!
I will tell you from experience that some snacks are no-nos while spending hours on the road. For example, one time on tour I bought huge boxes of Pumpkin Spice Fiber One Bars and a box of dried apricots thinking they would be an easy, delicious, nutritious snack. At the time I didn’t know that these snacks travel through the body very quickly, and while I have peed in many bus bathrooms, rule number one is No Number 2.
Something else to pack in your suitcase is an HDMI cable. You’ll have movie nights and gaming nights, and your experience will be enhanced if you can hook up your laptop or Nintendo Switch to your hotel room television.
In addition to snacks and cables, I always fill my suitcase with exercise clothes and a few nicer outfits that fit the time of year. On tour you’ll spend most of your time sitting in a van, on stage in costume, or exploring. There is no need to fear being an “outfit repeater.” You’re not touring to show off your entire wardrobe.
Also, leave some wiggle room in your suitcase! You might find a cute hat or jacket in a little boutique or Target while traveling, and you’ll need someplace to keep it.
In the moments between shows, travel, and exploration, I have found myself looking to stretch and exercise so that I am physically able to perform. As far as hotel gyms and exercise equipment goes: its’a a tossup. No matter what the hotel marketing team writes or posts on the hotel's website, you’re not going to know what is in that hotel gym until you get in there. Sometimes there is a dusty treadmill that went seven miles an hour once. Sometimes there is a bench. Sometimes you are blessed with an extravagant set of dumbbells and multiple cable machines. Throughout my experiences on the road I got creative with floor work and bodyweight workouts in various exercise rooms/workout corners/activity lounges so I could keep doing my job safely and effectively.
While hotel amenities are not always in your control, something you can control is how you use your space. Organization will help you feel more at home on the road, even if your home itself isn't organized. Keep your toiletries condensed to one or two areas. If you are traveling often, put items in the same place in every hotel room so you know where to find them. I always put business items and car keys on the TV stand. I had a portable blender, and I always put it on the microwave (if there was one) or next to the coffee pot (there almost always is a coffee machine) so I could pretend that was the kitchen. I set up an ~office~ either at the desk or on a bed side table. My office was mainly a charging station for my electronics.
This lifestyle is not for everyone. It can be a challenge to live out of a suitcase and hop from place to place. But it can also be a great thing. From this experience I found that I don’t need many things to feel happy. I was doing what I loved and learning about the world around me. I was seeing every corner the country I call home, eating new foods, sleeping in clean sheets, and putting money in my savings so that when the time comes for the next adventure (like homeownership, a wedding, or space travel) I am prepared for it.
One last thing: I promise you will feel so good if you make your bed in the morning. If you're leaving that hotel/motel/Holiday Inn and not coming back then never mind don't do that, leave the sheets as-is and go forth on your journey.
[The end of the Dinky Pipe and Drape theme plays.]
You can join the conversation about theatre for young audiences and find more Pipe and Drape content including photos, quotes, and TYA news on Instagram @PipeAndDrapeStories. And please be sure to rate and review Pipe and Drape wherever you listen to podcasts! Each star given or review submitted helps future listeners to find the show. Be sure to tune in every other Tuesday to hear theatre for young audiences creatives share their pipe and drape stories. Pipe and Drape is created and hosted by Stephen Fala and distributed by Anchor. Artwork for Pipe and Drape was created by Stephen Gordon and music was composed by Stephen Fala. Thank you for listening with me today.
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Host: Stephen Fala
Artwork: Stephen Gordon
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